First Impressions.

I landed early morning in Dar-es-Salaam on a Sunday morning and the first right turn out of the airport was stuck in this horrible traffic jam! I just couldn't understand what so many cars were doing, so early on a sunday morning! And people walking everywhere, some with firewood or perhaps going to church? So through roads filled with craters akin to the ones you see on the moon, we went in and out finally hitting the proper city. Exchanging money seemed like an affair you had to be cautious about. And ofcourse, its good to be cautious but people love to scare you about Africa. Its true horrible things happen, but when you know you have to live there for 2 months its not a good thing to be constantly living in fear. I mean hell, if im going to be robbed so be it! So i was smart about things but slowly my fears compounded by years of detailed atrocious stories of robberies and murders told by friends and relatives were washed away by the heavy clouds that burst right over me with warmth and affection of a people so simple and friendly.

I had never sat in anything smaller than an 737, atleast not that I could recollect. So the next morning at the domestic terminal I was ecstatic to see the largest plane on the tarmac was perhaps a 14 seater. They kept my luggage aside in the terminal building. I sat around, walked onto the tarmac, the morning air was beautiful and birds were feeding around. Nobody seemed to be going where I was. Everyone was bound for Zanzibar or the northern circuit (serengeti, ngorongoro, manyara). And then a man came and announced that my flight was leaving. So i walked onto the tarmac and the pilot was polite and considerate enough to warn me that it was a 2 hour flight and if i had to go to the toilet I should do it THEN. And ofcourse I didn't go. I mean how many times can someone go if they've been up only 3 hours?!!! But as murphy's law suggests, if something has to go wrong, it most definitely will. One and a half hours into the flight I could have passed out from the pressure. The situation was one of utmost urgency. And the Ruaha airstrip seemed like a distant dream. When we landed in Jongomero to pick up other guests I was ready to break open the doors and jump out of the moving plane. A tin door toilet behind a woody patch put an end to my dire misery.

Finally landed in Msembe, the airstrip located at the park headquarters. My new friend (1 hour 45 mins new), Gilles, encouraged me to look for elephants and crocodiles and hippos from the flight. He also made the flight extremely interesting telling me stories about the Africa he had known for 28 years and pointing down as we flew over areas telling me what was special about the place. Like the Military Base outside of Dar-es-salaam which was hit by a series of explosions (the ammunitions room caught fire) a few weeks earlier. The whole area looked like a blob of black from the air. Definitely another reminder of the seething corruption. And then the Udzungwa mountains, which were lush green and looked almost impenetrable (and much of the region is yet to be explored), this is where they discovered the primate and the small cat and other amphibians and reptiles. It definitely looked like the kind of forest that hid secrets. And the vast Selous Game Reserve on the left, the largest game reserve in Africa covering a massive 50,000 sq km.

So at Msembe i waited for the project guide/driver/man-friday to come and get me. Rowland is the quintessential Tanzanian man and safari guide. I waited 5 min until he got there with the warmest smile and most welcoming greetings. As we loaded my bags, we started conversing immediately!

Just out of the park the car stalled! and I finally felt welcomed. I felt like i was in Africa. But alas, it was just Rowland who had forgotten to fuel up the car. SO….. we sat in the bush waiting for our interpreter Julius to come by on his peke-peke with a large canister of fuel and then we continued to Chogela camp.

It was a beautiful quiet camp about 20 mins from the park gate. It had well constructed bandas (grass roofed structures) that housed well spaced tents below them. On entering Chogela i was welcomed by Rafiki , project musketeer, monitor lizard arch-enemy, clown, sandal snatcher and love hungry puppy; followed by volunteers Michelle and Sondra.

They would teach me the ropes of the project and beyond. More beyond.

My first day at project was quite eventful. As chogela was a public campsite there were, sometimes other guests as well. The day I arrived there was a group a Italian clowns and they were putting up a performance in Tungamalenga village. Im not sure I really wanted to go but i definitely didn't feel like hanging around by myself in camp so i walked with Sondra and Michelle, limping rafiki in tow to Tungamalenga. The first thing i noticed which is a reality that dawned on me later was that there were TONS of children in the village, the demographics were slightly skewed. Lots of children, many young adults, fewer mid aged adults and the sparse septuagenarian. The villagers were all very warm but still amused by our presence and it was definitely causing a great commotion amongst the children. They are always amused by muzungus (white person) but even my brown skin amazed them!! They would just come and crowd around and stare and smile, perhaps they expected me to do something spectacular, I must have been so disappointing.

When the clowns began their slap stick, clumsy acts the villagers all crowded around. It was so apparent how much joy and gaiety there was in the air. What a noble act to spread cheer and happiness!! And this is what they did as a profession. They all performed independently in Italy but once a year they formed into a group and chose one country to take their acts to. And they always chose interiors, tiny villages, the capillaries of the land. I remember one clown telling me that this is what he did in Italy too. He went to hospitals and performed for terminally ill children and he did this because he didn't care about money, this is what made him happy and made his life meaningful. I thought it was such a beautiful way to live. I mean at the end of one's life, how many people can really look back and say they have lived, truly lived. I mean, made a difference profoundly in someone else's life? and what is the point of life if we exist only for ourselves, for our selfish motives. I mean we are selfish in everything we do. Even if you do something for someone you care about, a friend, a lover, a brother, a father, a mother, it is still selfish. But how many people at the end of their journey really say they did something profoundly unselfish, something born out of pure, true love?

''To be able to look back upon ones life in satisfaction, is to live twice'' - Khalil Gibran.

An African Impact.

This time around Africa was different. Seeing life at eye level is so different from being there as a tourist. I remember feeling quite low when i first got there and it surprised me! There is nothing i wanted more than to be in Africa. Africa had the ability to keep me away from the world and now the world was keeping me from being with Africa. I, surprisingly, felt lonely and anxious.

The project was fairly easy. It was a socio-environmental study, but part of a Human-Elephant Conflict project. 11 villages surrounding Ruaha National Park are chosen as a part of this study. Each month 10 villagers from each of these villages gets a chance to visit the park. A full day game drive with lunch and breakfast, replete with cameras to take pictures for each visitor. In exchange for this outing and day of fun, they furnish us with answers to a questionnaire. A pre and post interview. And these questions probe into their attitudes regarding wildlife and the national park. (do you see any direct benefits, How do you feel living close to the park, how do you feel about protecting wildlife etc). A way to assess attitudes and any change in their attitude before and after the park visit.

While this was fairly easy, living in Africa especially rural Africa is not, unless you're rich. (to say the least).

I have lived a fairly sheltered life in Mumbai. Lived and still live with the family, they paid for my education, we went on holiday's, I had parties. When i was sick i was tended to, when i was bored in the city i could take a break, when i needed a new dress I could have it. If my hair was not the way i liked it any longer i changed it. I had a car to drive and I ate at restaurants, went to the movies, partied on weekends…….Basically life was a luxury.

And then there was Africa.

I was always interested in the environment and wildlife. Social welfare less. Anyone would tell you that i'd show more compassion to an animal than a human being.

And then there was Africa.

I was always conscious of my spending and put it in relativity to what was around me. But i did not think it was wrong to spend the way i was, it was MY money, MY parents didnt oppose, so why should someone else. Besides I was always doing my bit of giving back to the society.

And then there was Africa.

I realized that the people who live there are sometimes so immersed in the problem they cannot even see that they have drowned and sunk far too deep and then it ceased to be a problem. They lived with it. It became a way of life.

What touched me most is what I discovered about the people and the way they live. Their customs and simplicity, how close they are to calm and beauty yet on the verge of breaking and entering into the world of globalisation and chaos. They are trapped in this limbo between the past and the future. Holding onto their culture and norms and yet wanting so desperately to embrace western ideals and living. And ofcourse living in Africa is tough unless youre rich. If youre rich youre mostly corrupt too. And if youre not corrupt youre poor. The middle class is so slim, it holds no power. Very soon into my time there I realized how deep seated corruption is. And then the more you listen and talk to people, Africa's endless cycle of wars, poverty and disease seem obvious. Power is so concentrated in the hands of a few and so focused on one singular purpose. And that purpose is not the people or the land. Its the instrument of preference to get richer.

Sell the minerals, traffic the drugs, buy arms and ammunition, test the pharmaceuticals, compromise safety. Africa is a conglomerate run by businessmen who feign ingnorance towards social and environmental issues until they turn into catastrophes. Because it does not benefit those who own her. And nobody saves Africa because it does not benefit them. War perpetuates the existence of the Africa that we know. Very sad but true. And the result of years of political unrest, war and unstable governments is no more, more apparent than at the grass roots. In the interiors, the villages. I mean ofcourse, its apparent everywhere, in the cities too. Everybody warns you of being robbed, of not walking alone after sunset, of not venturing into certain areas by yourself. In Africa if you're simple, you're safer.

But after spending 2 months in this land of bewildering juxtapositions what comes to my mind when I think about Africa is an Africa I discovered beyond my fears and conditioning. The people who i met, the land i feel in love with even deeper, the sights and smells that intoxicated me and the spirit of this beautiful nation so alive, through it's happiness and sadness, through its joys and pains, through its peace and turmoil, through its euphoria and anguish, that it possessed me.

I knew it would be an amazing experience. But never in my wildest dreams did I imagine it to make an impact on me so profoundly. An impact that weaves itself into the micro-fibres of your philosophy and understanding of life and living, of morals and ethics. And then how can perception exist independently of these things?

My following posts relate to incidents or observations that really made an impact on me in those 2 months.

An Afternoon to Remember.

What an unexpected afternoon. And what an afternoon!

Making the most of an empty afternoon beach, I decided to take Skittles (my english cocker spaniel) and Schubert (my miniature schnauzer) down for some midday fun.

We never intended to get into the water, perhaps just let them off the leash and run to their hearts content.

But something in my head said, "damn it, lets just do it", so fully clothed, I followed Scubert to the waters edge.

While he halted there, I continued to walk in.

Skittles really bemused looked at me as if asking me if she was expected to follow in.

All it took was a little "skittles come come come" and her gundog instinct took over. And she frolicked around, jumping and skipping the rush of waves, throughly enjoying herself.

Terriers don't have a particular affinity towards water and it was so evident. While he wanted to join in the fun, the waves just made him uncomfortable. However he slowly lost his inhibition and ventured a few steps in.

A rotten baby coconut provided us with plenty of entertainment and it became quite obvious that it was the the object of desire this afternoon.

So we spent a good amount of time under the scorching sun, prancing around like sea horses and gathering a crowd of some bemused onlookers who had nothing better to do (why else would they even be on the beach at 1pm?)

Lots of chasing

Lots of Running

Lots of missed opportunities

and buckets of saline water tucked away in my double-coated dogs later

we headed home

all good things must come to an end, our wonderful afternoon ended with my newly purchased turbo hair dryer.

But what a marvelous day!!

Making ends meet

Im really trying to figure out how i'm going to fit in everything i want to do while in tanzania.

for one,

i'd really wanna do a scuba course and get my license.

and who wouldn't want to do it in zanzibar??

I dont know if I want to do it alone or let it go for lack of company....

Secondly,

I would die to visit the Serengeti again. Would be a shame to be so close and not visit. But i guess i'm bieng so greedy!

Im looking at ways of saving and cutting costs in other places so i can do this at the end of my trip in May. Would anyone be interested? :)

The Quarter of Commitments.

So theres a lot thats going to happen in March!

Kritika and Jaimini get engaged, amazing to see a relationship between two such close friends mature into a commitment for life.
pressing signs that everyone grown up and life is finally happening. Whether you want it or not!
Awesome for this twosome!
They're not your typical boring couple, they're always bringing laughter everywhere they go!!
Theres a certain comfort around this development.

Then africa happens! dont know the dates yet, but will be in the first week.
cannot wait to be back and try something new.
Going to be working as a research assistant helping do a conflict survey! more learning, more fun!!!

Have to admit though that im slightly nervous as im getting closer to march. Not so confident yet of my capabilities. yikes! but i'm very eager to learn and i suppose i'm not stupid so i'll hopefully pick up quickly. Also its much easier to learn something new when it interests you.

Before that, Anvita will have a fairytale wedding in Samode, cannot believe she is moving away. for love thats worth it. :)

Sagar will also get engaged, will miss this one to be in Samode, do not wish to miss either!!!!

Cannot wait!!

Accommodation.

There is no way to describe knowing your baby is going deaf, or is already deaf. Its a sad reminder that age approaches us in different ways, at different rates. Its a humble reminder that bodies are so delicate, so complex, so mysterious. And although I've been reading about dealing with deaf dogs, the most beautiful part is Lyubov does not need any alternate communcation like hand signals. His amazing ability to perceive lies in the way he reads us. He just knows what we're saying. Lyubov is a master at decoding body language.

Lyubov has been my friend for almost 12 years now. He walked into my house one February morning in 1999, confident, unknowing where life was taking him. And we surely did not anticipate that our life would never be the same again.
He grew to be a handsome boy, noticed by everyone and loved by all. Most definitely the star attraction where ever he went. More effervescent was his friendly disposition and the constant happiness that he shared everywhere he went.

He has seen me through my first boyfriend, break-ups, failures, happiness. Hes seen me through school, college and a post-graduation (and I could wish for more). He has greeted me when I've tip toed home on late nights and when I've rushed to college with eyes barely awakened. You name it and hes been a part of it.

Exceptionally intelligent, truly affectionate, uncontainably exuberant. Always happy, always young, always full of spirit has been the way I would describe my boy.

But suddenly, things have changed in the past year. It began with his body becoming feeble but spirit still quite able. He suddenly cannot run, jump or even walk too much. But it hit me when i began to doubt his spirit. He suddenly does not love his toys as much or isn't excited about things that would drive him crazy before. And then the worst part of it. I began to doubt a few weeks ago whether he could hear. And since the past few days I'm constantly testing him. There is no response. Although its comforting to be unsure, i think I'm quite sure hes lost his sense of hearing. And then i begin to think..... Can he not hear my voice? Can he not hear the car coming in? or the packet of crisps crackling open?
at that moment i do not want to say yes, I'm almost letting doubt take over. But for his sake i admit to myself that after 12 long years his body is slowing telling us something. And I notice that this lethargy and non-interest may be his way of distancing himself from us.

For 12 years he has been a friend, a member of the family and more. He has also been my first baby. A soul I've been accustomed to, a companion who has matured with me. We've grown in tandem.

So in these twilight years of his life it is my turn to walk slowly so he can keep up, it is my turn to watch out for cars he cannot hear approach, it is my turn to stand behind him as he climbs, it is my turn to bring him his rubber duck and beg him to play, it is my turn to wait until he has finished his meal, it is my turn to nudge him gently as he sleeps so i can awaken him from his deep sleep without a startle (I'm really convinced old dogs have beautiful, intuitive dreams). I must play the part of an able, youthful person whose spirit is supported by her body for the sake of an old, most wonderful friend who once had the power to drag me through a dusty, muddy lane because he probably saw a human he adored.

I told Bunty the other day, overwhelmed and choking on my tears that I was quite sure, more sure than any connection Ive had with ANY living human on earth that my dogs and I have known eachother from a long time ago. I knew that they were here because our souls were entwined and incomplete without bieng a part of eachothers current stay here on earth.

Im not really sure what i think of the end.... but I most definitely do believe in souls and I dont believe that the important entities in your life are a co-incidence. There is a very definite reason they have come to be so important. Why my parents and family are who they are, why friends and lovers always find eachother.

But until i remain mortal, knowing this will just not make it easier. To go through the rest of my time, in this life, waiting to perhaps meet these pieces of my soul once again.
Goodbyes can never be easy and while people may say its just a dog, the truth is he has moulded each and everyone of us and made us a little bit of a dog while we have made him a little bit of a human.

Lyubov may stay in our house, live on our property, eat our food and sleep in our bedrooms but the simple fact is it is Lyubov who accommodates us.

Wishing my friend, my baby my everything a happy life where the tail never ceases to wag.

While I slept.

So TIA. This is Africa.

1. If you can’t afford to pay for local transport your chances of getting a ride depend solely on your ability to run and jump onto a fast moving vehicle. Believe us, we’ve seen people (who should contend for Olympic medals) run and jump onto the back for a pick-up going 30 mph with 50 people in back.

2. There’s no such thing as a full bus. Anything is possible, even a person sitting on top of a bus, holding both a baby and a basket of avocadoes.

3. Anything (and we mean anything) can be carried on your head, from a few coins to a bar of soap to a whole tree, people here can carry anything.

4. No matter what you ask people the answer is invariably “yes”. Examples: “How do we get to town today?” Answer: “yes.” “How much for the room?” Answer: “Yes.”

5. If you want something done – ask a woman. Men here spend the greater part (okay all) of the day drinking the local brew, Mbege, and staring into space (probably thinking about what their wife is going to cook for dinner). The women spend the day working relentlessly in the fields carting loads of firewood, grass and chicken feed up long steep roads.

6. If you’re a homophobe don’t come to this country. What we mean by this is you can be caught quite off guard by the number of times you see men (who are actually just good friends, not lovers) holding hands. At the same time it is completely socially unacceptable for men and women to display any type of public affection.

7. If you’re a woman driving for the first time in the village don’t stall the car in front of two hundred school children who are so bewildered to see a woman driving that they can’t even move.

8. Blatantly staring at foreigners is completely socially acceptable, so is pointing and yelling the swahili equivalent of “white person, white person, white person!” (Although, it should be noted that we’re not convinced you would get any different reaction from Americans in the back roads of the mid-west were you to place an African out there).

9. You can make money doing anything, even charging someone 50 cents to weigh himself or herself on a bathroom scale that’s probably broken in the middle of the sidewalk.

10. The used clothes industry is big here, you could be out in the middle of the bush and there’s someone wearing traditional African dress walking alongside someone who’s smoking pot wearing a “DARE: To Keep Kids Off Drugs” T-shirt.

11. Prices here are open for debate and bargaining is a way of life – especially for Mzungus (white people). If you want to know the price an African paid for the same thing you want to buy just take the price quotes, take away 90% of that, divide that figure in half and you have the “African Price”, too bad you’ll never pay that little for anything. The difference is only pennies but it’s the principle of the matter.
Something that goes inherently along with this topic is that Africans are never too proud when quoting prices. One guy looked us straight in the eye when he told us he would “cut us a deal” and let us rent his car for $2,000 month- how do you say “yeah right” in Kiswahili?

12. Learn to view power failures as romantic because it’s guaranteed that the power never runs 24 hours straight.

13. When you’re trying to say “We want to meet your son” don’t confuse the swahili word for “meet” with the one for “buy” as our friend did yesterday. “Yes, sir, we’d like to BUY your son.” What’s even stranger is that he wasn’t terribly apprehensive about our initial statement.

14. We figure the two English sayings school children learn here are “Good morning teacher” and “give me money.”

And the most important survival tip we’ve learn so far is:
15. You’ve never known a really good day until you’ve had a solid poop.

(compiled from a travel website)

Africa is so amazing. I love that everything is an adventure. You never know whats hiding round the corner or where the road ends and another begins.

I enjoy that I need to prepare atleast 2 weeks before the holiday to africa begins (the yellow fever, malaria prohylaxis), really makes me feel like im going somwhere far. I equally enjoy the look some people give me when theyve finished telling me theyre probably going to monaco or the french riviera and i tell them im going on vacation too. To god forsaken Africa. Theyre almost stupefied. :)

I love that when im in africa im naked. Devoid of any jewellery, make up or fancy hair. Its just me. And it feels so good to be in my own skin.

I love that every shop has "shop" at the end of its name. ie: obama hair 'shop'. or mama panya 'shop', xyz chemist 'shop'.

And that the children are always smiling oblivious to the poverty they are submerged in.

I love how instead of cows and donkeys, i see zebras and wildebeest, giraffes and gazelle on the side of the road. And theyre still wild. :) (oh what a beauty, just the thought of it).And knowing that lions and leopards arent too far.

i love the expanse of the parks and how you could be in the 1700's. AD or BC. It probably hasnt changed much since. And how there are lions resting under the shade of a thorny acacia and the elephants are drinking water from a river infested with crocodiles.

People ask how i can do it over and over again. How can i not get bored? Its quite simple. Things here are fluid. Nothing is permanent. -the eiffel tower wont grow any taller or the statue of liberty isnt suddenly gonna have a smile on her face.

But the baobab may grow thicker and the lion i saw last year, who knows if i come across him again, alone and outcast from his pride? Africa is an unfinished canvas. The theme the same, the characters forever changing.

I love how at night I can hear the roars of lions not far away from my tent or that i shouldnt venture out alone. That when i step out theres buffalo spoor all over. They visited while I slept.

I love the breakfast and the greedy starlings that hop around the table waiting for crumbs. And the vervet monkeys waiting up in the trees.

Oh i love the African sun and the blue blue skies. The expanse warms my soul. And the rain approaching the plains from far far away. Like a column of grey attaching the ground to the sky!

I love the punctured tyres. An alibi to get off and wander on foot (in close proximity to the vehicle ofcourse, dont want to cause too much trouble) until its fixed.

I love that Lunch could mean parking next to the kopje with a sleepy lion, then crawling onto the top of the land rover with a paper box with all the lunch goodies. (chocolate and muffins included) and watching the lion for a good hour and a quarter and that im the only person around (as far as my eye can see) in an expanse of never neverending grassland.

Which restaurant can boast of such great ambience?

And the excuse to down a few GnT's at sunset while exchanging safari stories with other guests while the klipsringer grazes on tiny grass. All the friends one makes on Safari! such a delight.

Time stands still for me in Africa. Or rather time goes on and on and on until it doesnt matter what time it is, what day it is, what week ive reached. I dont need to know.

Time is so meaningless there. One second. One moment. My time is measured in moments.

And i imagine what drama unfolds in the moments when i rest? is there a birth? a death? a second chance at life?

If so much can occur in moments when I sleep I wonder what happens when im away... Have the leaves spurted on the baobab, has the grass grown on the plains? have the cubs all made it, in my seronera pride? is the elephant pregnant? Must the old lone lion i saw on the short grass be still alive? And what clouds must canvas the blue skies? Must the air be heavy with african dust or has the rain quelled the thirst of the parched land?

This is my obsession. An endless romance. A senseless investigation. I need to know, to see, to feel, to be in this land which wont let me sleep. which bekons me with its wild ways, untamed spirit and the great wilderness of its charecter.

I wonder what has happened while I slept.