While I slept.

So TIA. This is Africa.

1. If you can’t afford to pay for local transport your chances of getting a ride depend solely on your ability to run and jump onto a fast moving vehicle. Believe us, we’ve seen people (who should contend for Olympic medals) run and jump onto the back for a pick-up going 30 mph with 50 people in back.

2. There’s no such thing as a full bus. Anything is possible, even a person sitting on top of a bus, holding both a baby and a basket of avocadoes.

3. Anything (and we mean anything) can be carried on your head, from a few coins to a bar of soap to a whole tree, people here can carry anything.

4. No matter what you ask people the answer is invariably “yes”. Examples: “How do we get to town today?” Answer: “yes.” “How much for the room?” Answer: “Yes.”

5. If you want something done – ask a woman. Men here spend the greater part (okay all) of the day drinking the local brew, Mbege, and staring into space (probably thinking about what their wife is going to cook for dinner). The women spend the day working relentlessly in the fields carting loads of firewood, grass and chicken feed up long steep roads.

6. If you’re a homophobe don’t come to this country. What we mean by this is you can be caught quite off guard by the number of times you see men (who are actually just good friends, not lovers) holding hands. At the same time it is completely socially unacceptable for men and women to display any type of public affection.

7. If you’re a woman driving for the first time in the village don’t stall the car in front of two hundred school children who are so bewildered to see a woman driving that they can’t even move.

8. Blatantly staring at foreigners is completely socially acceptable, so is pointing and yelling the swahili equivalent of “white person, white person, white person!” (Although, it should be noted that we’re not convinced you would get any different reaction from Americans in the back roads of the mid-west were you to place an African out there).

9. You can make money doing anything, even charging someone 50 cents to weigh himself or herself on a bathroom scale that’s probably broken in the middle of the sidewalk.

10. The used clothes industry is big here, you could be out in the middle of the bush and there’s someone wearing traditional African dress walking alongside someone who’s smoking pot wearing a “DARE: To Keep Kids Off Drugs” T-shirt.

11. Prices here are open for debate and bargaining is a way of life – especially for Mzungus (white people). If you want to know the price an African paid for the same thing you want to buy just take the price quotes, take away 90% of that, divide that figure in half and you have the “African Price”, too bad you’ll never pay that little for anything. The difference is only pennies but it’s the principle of the matter.
Something that goes inherently along with this topic is that Africans are never too proud when quoting prices. One guy looked us straight in the eye when he told us he would “cut us a deal” and let us rent his car for $2,000 month- how do you say “yeah right” in Kiswahili?

12. Learn to view power failures as romantic because it’s guaranteed that the power never runs 24 hours straight.

13. When you’re trying to say “We want to meet your son” don’t confuse the swahili word for “meet” with the one for “buy” as our friend did yesterday. “Yes, sir, we’d like to BUY your son.” What’s even stranger is that he wasn’t terribly apprehensive about our initial statement.

14. We figure the two English sayings school children learn here are “Good morning teacher” and “give me money.”

And the most important survival tip we’ve learn so far is:
15. You’ve never known a really good day until you’ve had a solid poop.

(compiled from a travel website)

Africa is so amazing. I love that everything is an adventure. You never know whats hiding round the corner or where the road ends and another begins.

I enjoy that I need to prepare atleast 2 weeks before the holiday to africa begins (the yellow fever, malaria prohylaxis), really makes me feel like im going somwhere far. I equally enjoy the look some people give me when theyve finished telling me theyre probably going to monaco or the french riviera and i tell them im going on vacation too. To god forsaken Africa. Theyre almost stupefied. :)

I love that when im in africa im naked. Devoid of any jewellery, make up or fancy hair. Its just me. And it feels so good to be in my own skin.

I love that every shop has "shop" at the end of its name. ie: obama hair 'shop'. or mama panya 'shop', xyz chemist 'shop'.

And that the children are always smiling oblivious to the poverty they are submerged in.

I love how instead of cows and donkeys, i see zebras and wildebeest, giraffes and gazelle on the side of the road. And theyre still wild. :) (oh what a beauty, just the thought of it).And knowing that lions and leopards arent too far.

i love the expanse of the parks and how you could be in the 1700's. AD or BC. It probably hasnt changed much since. And how there are lions resting under the shade of a thorny acacia and the elephants are drinking water from a river infested with crocodiles.

People ask how i can do it over and over again. How can i not get bored? Its quite simple. Things here are fluid. Nothing is permanent. -the eiffel tower wont grow any taller or the statue of liberty isnt suddenly gonna have a smile on her face.

But the baobab may grow thicker and the lion i saw last year, who knows if i come across him again, alone and outcast from his pride? Africa is an unfinished canvas. The theme the same, the characters forever changing.

I love how at night I can hear the roars of lions not far away from my tent or that i shouldnt venture out alone. That when i step out theres buffalo spoor all over. They visited while I slept.

I love the breakfast and the greedy starlings that hop around the table waiting for crumbs. And the vervet monkeys waiting up in the trees.

Oh i love the African sun and the blue blue skies. The expanse warms my soul. And the rain approaching the plains from far far away. Like a column of grey attaching the ground to the sky!

I love the punctured tyres. An alibi to get off and wander on foot (in close proximity to the vehicle ofcourse, dont want to cause too much trouble) until its fixed.

I love that Lunch could mean parking next to the kopje with a sleepy lion, then crawling onto the top of the land rover with a paper box with all the lunch goodies. (chocolate and muffins included) and watching the lion for a good hour and a quarter and that im the only person around (as far as my eye can see) in an expanse of never neverending grassland.

Which restaurant can boast of such great ambience?

And the excuse to down a few GnT's at sunset while exchanging safari stories with other guests while the klipsringer grazes on tiny grass. All the friends one makes on Safari! such a delight.

Time stands still for me in Africa. Or rather time goes on and on and on until it doesnt matter what time it is, what day it is, what week ive reached. I dont need to know.

Time is so meaningless there. One second. One moment. My time is measured in moments.

And i imagine what drama unfolds in the moments when i rest? is there a birth? a death? a second chance at life?

If so much can occur in moments when I sleep I wonder what happens when im away... Have the leaves spurted on the baobab, has the grass grown on the plains? have the cubs all made it, in my seronera pride? is the elephant pregnant? Must the old lone lion i saw on the short grass be still alive? And what clouds must canvas the blue skies? Must the air be heavy with african dust or has the rain quelled the thirst of the parched land?

This is my obsession. An endless romance. A senseless investigation. I need to know, to see, to feel, to be in this land which wont let me sleep. which bekons me with its wild ways, untamed spirit and the great wilderness of its charecter.

I wonder what has happened while I slept.